Ever since Pygmalion fell in love with a statue, humans have dreamed of creating the perfect lover. While the more cynically minded might immediately be reminded of The Stepford Wives, the emerging reality is simultaneously more hopeful and depressing.
Welcome to the future. Be warned: while this article contains no gratuitous nudity, you probably shouldn’t be reading it at work, and some of the links may take you to places you don’t really want to go if somebody’s looking over your shoulder.
So Close We Can Touch It
First, let’s face the facts: sex bots aren’t really “here” yet. While the Boston Dynamics Atlas robot does a good job of walking around and can even perform backflips, you probably wouldn’t want to be intimate with it. And most of the sex “robots” commercially available today that you might consider getting naked with aren’t really robots so much as silicone dolls with a hint of mobility plus rudimentary chatbots running on tacky speech synthesizers in their heads. Companies like Real Doll represent the very cutting edge of what counts as a sex robot these days, and visually their products look very impressive. But the moment they move or speak, they seem more like a Disneyland animatronic rendition of Apple’s Siri speaking through an 8-bit speaker.
While sex robots are inevitable eventually, in the meantime, many are trying are circumvent the technical barriers of manufacturing by producing sex robots . . . minus the sex robots. And for reasons that can best be explained as “God damn it Japan,” these virtual girls are generally anime-esque. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting — the virtual waifu.
We notably saw this begin a few years ago from Gatebox, which would basically be a Japanese version of Amazon Alexa/Google Home if it weren’t a non-holographic anime girl who not only turns on your living room lights for you, but also pesters you at work with texts asking when you’ll be coming home.
Far from a sex bot, the goal of Gatebox’s character, Azuma Hikari, is to deliver an entirely platonic augmented reality virtual girlfriend experience. According to the product literature, she “is a comforting character that is great to those living alone. She will always do all she can just for the owner.”
She greets you when you come home. She wishes you well and says goodnight before you go to bed. She says good morning and helps you start your day with a smile. And then texts you throughout the day to remind you that she’s waiting for you and would you hurry up please, so that she can welcome you home again.
In a way, it’s adorable. It aims to fill the very emotional need to be wanted, which is something a box of tissues and a porn video can’t do. And for roughly $1500, Azuma Hikari will do her genuine best to give it to you.
A Virtual Girlfriend To Feed & Bathe!
If that price seems a little high, you might instead opt to buy a comparatively cheap $400 VR headset for your PC, then head to steam where, for $50, you can have an even more intimate girlfriend experience with Sakura Yuuhi in VR Kanojo. Maybe you’ll learn to bathe yourself by taking care of your virtual waifu. I wouldn’t bet on it!
The game (if you can call it that) takes place in Sakura’s bedroom, where as her virtual boyfriend you can ogle her while she sleeps, strategically place a fan to blow her skirt up to catch glimpses and take pictures of her underwear, rifle through her dresser, help her bathe while fully clothed, and various other upstanding gentlemanly activities. The game features an 18+ patch that not only allows you remove her clothes, but also to engage in various sexual acts with her . . . or so I hear.
Waifu Sex Simulator
Of course, if VR anime sex is specifically what you’re after rather than a more comprehensive virtual girlfriend experience, you need look no further than LewdFraggy’s Waifu Sex Simulator.
Cobbled together from the ancient freeware animation program MikuMikuDance, Waifu Sex Simulator features literally hundreds of 3D character models largely stolen from games, produced by fans, or variously procured in other ways. Navigating a labyrinthine menu system allows these individual characters to be posed, placed in scenes, and animated in various ways. While many of its demo videos show the girls simply dancing or engaging in simple loop animations, Waifu Sex Simulator also features head-tracking so that the girls will always look into your eyes no matter where you stand. Additionally, it allows you to anchor specific body parts to a VR controller. So you can, for example, simply move your hand in space to reposition an ankle or a knee, should you wish to do that for some reason.
While Waifu Sex Simulator is among the most powerfully versatile and customizable virtual sex options available, it also features a horrifically cryptic and cumbersome menu system that makes it a frustrating mess to use. Fortunately it’s a free download, funded exclusively via donations, so it costs nothing to try.
In fact, there are a growing number of applications like these, able to satisfy whatever your fetish might be. Do you want to help your virtual girlfriend throw books on the floor and play rock-paper-scissors for the chance to feed her beans with chopsticks? Try Together VR. Are you a furry? Try Yiffalicious. Do you want to torture Catgirl in your basement? Try Villain Simulator. Do have both a smartphone and fond memories of Monika’s determined declarations of love from Doki Doki Literature Club? Then Just Monika has you covered.
Whatever you want in a virtual waifu, it’s probably already out there!
As long as what you want is a virtual waifu.